I speak english!
NOTE: This my dear friends is the rarest bread of auto drivers. You may not find them in any other city in India, but in Bangalore.. What’s special about them? As the headline says.. They speaks english!
Me: Anna.. Jayanaga Jaoge?
Auto: Hindi gothilla.. You know english
Me: eh.. yya.. ya I speak english
Auto: So where do you want to go
Me: (I couldn’t hold back my curiosity)
Auto: From where did you learn to speak english so well?
Me: Oh! from my daughter.. There are a lot of non-kannadigas here. So I asked her to teach me hindi so I could talk to these people. But she told me that she will teach me english as there are a lot of tourists here. So I agreed and I learnt
Me: So how long did it take
Auto: 1 year
Me: wow.. thats great.. you did a really good thing…
(the talk continued for half an hour thanks to traffic.. we discussed traffic, garbage issue, auto metre tampering and traffic again)
Me: Anna, here is the money
Auto: Thank you (gives back change)
Me: No, Thank you!
NOTE: Ever travelled in a group of five or more in an auto? Chances are quite less for something like that to happen. Unless of course you are in school and auto picks you up from school and takes you home and vice-versa.. well I had ‘encounters’ with auto guys because we travelled in a big group!)
Me: Anna Jayanagar
Me: There are five people
the smile =) on his face changes shape now =(
Auto: Do (two) auto lena padega
Me: Ek auto mein possible nahi hain? we will give little extra
Auto: No you will have to take two autos!
(out of the blue another auto driver appear who offers to take the second group.. now we don’t have any options you see)
Auto1 (to auto 2): Bhaiyya appa pehle chalo.. I will follow you
Auto 2(to auto 1): nahi nahi aap pahle
Me: (in mind.. am I in Bangalore or Lucknow?)
Auto 1: nahi nahi aap
Auto 2: ok chalo follow.. u have digital metre u put.. i wont
Auto1 & 2 together: Boss is that okay.. he has digital so he puts…
Me: okay chalo abhi
(and so the journey starts the auto I was in didn’t have the metre running because ‘he did not have digital meter’ :p)
(fast forward – we reach destination)
(the metre in second auto – digital meter – read 90, when it should have read 60!)
Me: Boss aapka meter galat hein
Auto1: Wo khoome aana padta hein.. isliye..
Me: (in mind – WTF!)
I have come b same route before also how can you say ‘khoom ke’ now.. don’t crap with me unnecessarily!
Auto 2: Are you trying to say my metre is rigged? digital metre hein bhayya it cannot be
Me: oh come on whom are you kidding.. there is no meter that cannot be rigged.. only if you mess up digital metre the seal will be broken that s all.. move let me check the metre
Auto1 pushes me away
Friend1: Boss.. no need to push around we know your metre is tampered three of us here work in media.. we know many policemen .. we will give you 60 (*2 of course) if you need more you call police. There are five of us here, so don’t mess up.
Auto1: (reality sinks in) okay give.. but remember I know were you live I will come with my friends..
Me: ya ya okay
we will see
(The never turned up.. thank god.. though we put up a bracve face then we were a littel bit scared of the consequences….)
Anything for money
(this one…. came in as a comment from Taju!)
1. I (Taju aka Xylene) called an auto to take ma wife and myself to the Railway station. I bargained and fixed the rate to 125 ( for 15 kms)
Upon seeing ma extra large suitcase he began ” luggage one and a half, extra, more, more, more”
I said “bhaiiyya this auto is for how many ppl?” he said “three”
“So we have me, her and yeh luggage ek admi sumcho (consider this luggage as a person), so no extra… ”
he agreed !
2. On our way back all the autodrivers were bargaining for 150rs (from madiwala to hsr layout 4 kms). I tried ma “consider this luggage as the third person” but dint work !! 🙁
So i had to increase my offer to 60 Rs, still no one was agreeing.
Autowalla1 : “sir ur office will begin now”
me ” No its only at 1PM”
Autowalla2 : “Sir the rate is for luggage 70Rs”
Me ” NOOO”
Autowalla picking up my suitcase ” see I am carrying your luggage sirrr”
me ” Oh okay then”
me to wife ” atleast he helped me witht he luggage, so lets give him 70?
upon reachingthe destination. he dint bother to get out of the driver seat. and I pulled..pushed….tried to lift it out of the auto..finally managed to get it out ( his seat got torn, he dint notice, well so be it…)
wife to me ” so wats the extra 10 for??”
me “sigh to get him out of ma sight”