Grand Theft Auto – 4!

This is the final post of Grand Theft Autorickshaw series.. to make any sens read GTA , GTA2, GTA3 and then read this post

I speak english!
NOTE: This my dear friends is the rarest bread of auto drivers. You may not find them in any other city in India, but in Bangalore.. What’s special about them? As the headline says.. They speaks english!

Me: Anna.. Jayanaga Jaoge?
Auto: Hindi gothilla.. You know english
Me: eh.. yya.. ya I speak english
Auto: So where do you want to go
Me: Jayanagar
Auto: ok
Me: (I couldn’t hold back my curiosity)
Auto: From where did you learn to speak english so well?
Me: Oh! from my daughter.. There are a lot of non-kannadigas here. So I asked her to teach me hindi so I could talk to these people. But she told me that she will teach me english as there are a lot of tourists here. So I agreed and I learnt
Me: So how long did it take
Auto: 1 year
Me: wow.. thats great.. you did a really good thing…
(the talk continued for half an hour thanks to traffic.. we discussed traffic, garbage issue, auto metre tampering and traffic again)
(on reaching)
Me: Anna, here is the money
Auto: Thank you (gives back change)
Me: No, Thank you!

Double trouble
NOTE: Ever travelled in a group of five or more in an auto? Chances are quite less for something like that to happen. Unless of course you are in school and auto picks you up from school and takes you home and vice-versa.. well I had ‘encounters’ with auto guys because we travelled in a big group!)
Me: Anna Jayanagar
Auto: okay
Me: There are five people
the smile =) on his face changes shape now =(

Auto: Do (two) auto lena padega
Me: Ek auto mein possible nahi hain? we will give little extra
Auto: No you will have to take two autos!
(out of the blue another auto driver appear who offers to take the second group.. now we don’t have any options you see)
Auto1 (to auto 2): Bhaiyya appa pehle chalo.. I will follow you
Auto 2(to auto 1): nahi nahi aap pahle
Me: (in mind.. am I in Bangalore or Lucknow?)
Auto 1: nahi nahi aap
Auto 2: ok chalo follow.. u have digital metre u put.. i wont
Auto1: ok
Auto1 & 2 together: Boss is that okay.. he has digital so he puts…
Me: okay chalo abhi
(and so the journey starts the auto I was in didn’t have the metre running because ‘he did not have digital meter’ :p)
(fast forward – we reach destination)
(the metre in second auto – digital meter – read 90, when it should have read 60!)
Me: Boss aapka meter galat hein
Auto1: Wo khoome aana padta hein.. isliye..
Me: (in mind – WTF!)
I have come b same route before also how can you say ‘khoom ke’ now.. don’t crap with me unnecessarily!
Auto 2: Are you trying to say my metre is rigged? digital metre hein bhayya it cannot be
Me: oh come on whom are you kidding.. there is no meter that cannot be rigged.. only if you mess up digital metre the seal will be broken that s all.. move let me check the metre

Auto1 pushes me away

Friend1: Boss.. no need to push around we know your metre is tampered three of us here work in media.. we know many policemen .. we will give you 60 (*2 of course) if you need more you call police. There are five of us here, so don’t mess up.
Auto1: (reality sinks in) okay give.. but remember I know were you live I will come with my friends..

Me: ya ya okay
we will see

(The never turned up.. thank god.. though we put up a bracve face then we were a littel bit scared of the consequences….)

Anything for money

(this one…. came in as a comment from Taju!)

1. I (Taju aka Xylene) called an auto to take ma wife and myself to the Railway station. I bargained and fixed the rate to 125 ( for 15 kms)
Upon seeing ma extra large suitcase he began ” luggage one and a half, extra, more, more, more”

I said “bhaiiyya this auto is for how many ppl?” he said “three”
“So we have me, her and yeh luggage ek admi sumcho (consider this luggage as a person), so no extra… ”
he agreed !
2. On our way back all the autodrivers were bargaining for 150rs (from madiwala to hsr layout 4 kms). I tried ma “consider this luggage as the third person” but dint work !! 🙁
So i had to increase my offer to 60 Rs, still no one was agreeing.
Autowalla1 : “sir ur office will begin now”
me ” No its only at 1PM”
Autowalla2 : “Sir the rate is for luggage 70Rs”
Me ” NOOO”
Autowalla picking up my suitcase ” see I am carrying your luggage sirrr”
me ” Oh okay then”
me to wife ” atleast he helped me witht he luggage, so lets give him 70?
upon reachingthe destination. he dint bother to get out of the driver seat. and I pulled..pushed….tried to lift it out of the auto..finally managed to get it out ( his seat got torn, he dint notice, well so be it…)
wife to me ” so wats the extra 10 for??”
me “sigh to get him out of ma sight”

14 responses to “Grand Theft Auto – 4!”
  1. ram Avatar

    i wish stayed in chennai longer…am pretty sure there some tales abt the ‘auto-karans’ here too..!!! wud have written! too good..!!!

  2. | Balu | Avatar

    he he… may be. But I am quite happy with the variety present here.. bck in calicut all guys used to be good.. they used to demand five rupee extra at night! imagine! And in kochi, they were ruthless.. worse than mosquitos in Kochi (deadly).. Chennai autokarans come in same category as kochikarans.. atleast from what i heard to date!

  3. iruleatwork Avatar


    an inspiratin from you!

    GTA- Grand theft autorickshaw – Temple City

  4. Xylene Avatar

    read in TOI today that the auto drivers are asking for 10/km 20 minimum ( Rs 250 as take home salary ) etc.

    The only question I have for them is…

    You guys are already charging me 20 /km and 30 Rs minimum(I cant remember the last time (or anytime)I paid an autodriver 12 Rs )
    and what hike are u guys asking for????????????

    thanx for moving ma comment to the main post.

  5. | Balu | Avatar

    hey dont thank me.. u did bring out a ‘new species’

    and ya abt 20 rs being charged! let me guess.. do u carry a laptop or do u hang that id card arnd ur neck? if u do either of these u r bound to b targeted.
    PS: I have an advice change in clothes into ordinary Ts and munde before leaving office.. they wont take more than 11 and dont speak hindi speak malayalam tell u dont know kannada!

  6. Xylene Avatar

    next time I wud try that ! 😀

  7. […] By the way Ram got inspired by GTA series of posts and decided to write smthing about autokkarans in Chennai.. take a […]

  8. Xylene Avatar

    there is another type of autowalla ( I was reading when I remembered this type)

    Once an autowalla dropped me at ma place and he asked for more ( as usual) I said NO. ” Not an extra penny” he said “Get in the auto lets go to the RTO and ask what the rates are”

    I said “Okay You do one thing you go get the RTO to ma place and lets discuss”
    Autowalla ” @U#()@*#” (in kannada. I dint undestand a single word)
    Me “()@*#()@*” in eng ( He shud be able to follow)
    he sped off…

    This type you usually see in Blore. they threaten you by saying “lets go to the police station ” a story in TOI (i guess yest issue. I cudnt find the online link..i will post it if i get it. ) where an auto driver took two ladies to the policestation. But when he saw that they are indeed complaining he changed his attitude to the more ‘apologizing autowalla’.

  9. Xylene Avatar

    I am not sure if you have already read about post on autorickshaws
    Its an old post.

  10. | Balu | Avatar

    a few months back auto drivers stopped all traffic in mysore highway.. because a huge number of auto drivers were caught for metre tampering.. polica had to let them go without fining!I think the instrument u are talking about caught the cheaters!

  11. xylene Avatar

    Ma recent encounter with the auto walla here in blore goes like this.

    Ma brother, ma wife and ma self was off to The Forum on saturday evening. I asked the auto walla “bhaiyya how much” . “meter” he replied. I was happy that after the recent hike, he was ready to put the meter even before I asked him to do so.
    We reached forum and the meter showed 50. ‘Wow that’s 10 bucks more than the usual fare” I thought. But then the fare has increased and I didn’t complain.
    I gave him the 50 Bucks when he took out a sheet and showed me the new rates.. he said the old rate is 50 so the new rate is 60….
    I was armed with last week’s edition of TOI too. I showed him the rates. He said he want more, because his meter is old. I said “No,you should have told me that your meter is old I wont give you more”.
    He said “lets go to the police” I said “sure, lets,!!!”
    he said”Get in !!!”
    “No I wont get in your auto, you will charge me again, I will walk.” I said.
    So we walked to the nearest police( or if there is one of them around) and he came in the auto in slow-speed.
    He stopped next to the auto stand, when all the auto drivers surrounded me and showes me the new tariff card.
    I showed them mine and said that “its not the problem with the tariff card. He didn’t tell me that his meter is not new”
    A passerby joined my side.
    after 10 mins, two of the older auto walla asked me “from where did u start”
    I answered and then he said “bharabar hai bhai, you can go ahead”
    So FINALLY !!!!!
    FINALLY !!!
    I found one honest, autodriver. !!!!

    PS : Now this card threatening thing is happening around. They will take you for a ride and then show u the new card and ask u more..If they have not changed the meter its their problem not ours. So never give more than what the meter says. ( my autowalla seems to have not changed his meter but seems like his meter is showing the right fare !! ;))
    Do the following
    1. When he says “we wil go to the police” tell him “lets go”. We dint do anything wrong. and am sure he will scoot if we walk to the nearest policeman
    2. Arm urself with the latest tariff.
    3. Keep in mind that not all auto drivers are dishonest. Ther are good ppl out there too.
    Sorry for the long comment. 🙂

  12. | Balu | Avatar

    Wow so now there is double rigging of metre heh!

  13. aamaadmi Avatar


    Nice one balu…but one thing I feel we must realize is that these guys too like me and you are working professionals…Driving an auto is their “rozi roti” and at times when they are lucky, they earn more by fooling people….I see no harm in that….What are big corporations doing? They too indulge into the act of fooling…Its just that we are not taken away by that….These poor autowallahs, they are not MBA’s so they are not quite aversed with the act of fooling….whatever they can do, they do…All to earn money…

    The bottomline, be it for a corporation or an autowallah is “Profit” and they leave no stone unturned to achieve that elusive share. Its in the end again the aam aadmi that suffers…

    But still we do have in this lot some honest,hardworking, sincere people. 🙂

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