Those irritating calls!

Everyone hates those pesky calls which try to sell you products (I was being generous.. they try to force products down our throats). There are many ways to deal with them. Either you can go the way Xylene suggests or do it my way

(to be honest I got it as a forward.. damn my conscience!)



1 After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you. — Oh thanks for calling.. I was feeling so lonely in life after my GF met me.. sob sob.. I need somebody in life.. I have everything in life money, car a job… Will you marry me? (In case she says yes, its your turn to hang-up!)

2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her, if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.

3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times. — Eh what I didn’t understand.. can you explain it again..

4. Tell them it is dinnertime, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. — Oh thats a great plan really.. smack.. slick.. Wow the paratha is owesome.. can I have some more butter pls…. and lassi too.. (I prefer northy stuff for dinner)

5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.– ga ga ga ga goo goo ga ga

6. Tell them your hearing is weak and that they need to speak up…. louder… louder… louder! — Hello HELLo… Can you be louder pls.. hello…

7. If they start out with, “How are you today?”, say “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems…. ……… ”

8. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down. So.. t-h-e plaaan ccooveers.. aaaall paternal.. eh how do I spell paternal?

9. Cry out in surprise, “Helen, is that you? I’ve been hoping you’d call! How is the family?” When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.

10. Tell the ICICI call centre guy to call on your office number (ehm.. low battery.. I like ur plan.. if only you could call me in..) – and give him the HSBC call centre number. (CHUP-chap favourite!! 😀 )


29 responses to “Those irritating calls!”

  1. ish Avatar

    LOL. I love those, especially the last one. There used to be a female from Airtel who used to call sometime back. Her name was Khushi. I wonder why she doesn’t call now. 😛

    And Airtel has new ways to annoy you. Now it’s their automated messages. So you can’t even argue with them or talk to them. 😐

  2. | Balu | Avatar

    Oh yes the bots! Everyone hates them don’t they..
    PS: I hate the way they say HI in recoded messages it always manages to sound quirky!

  3. Vijay Avatar

    Love #10… Heres what I do if they call me on my mobile… I put them on hold…

  4. ish Avatar

    They don’t say Hi on Airtel. They say Namaskar as if they are your closest relatives on the planet. Damned bots. :/

  5. Nidhi Avatar

    RUDDY BRILLIANT…esp helen…can’t wait for one of those calls now.

  6. neela Avatar

    Once there was a salesman at the door. he was the second that afternoon.
    I just looked at him with a dull expression and told him , “ghar me saab bhi nahi, memsaab bhi nahin “.He was stumped. I shut the door with a loud guffaw!
    My hub normally tells these guys to send a detailed e mail.He says he doesn’t listen to such things over the phone.
    But your ideas are superb.

  7. | Balu | Avatar

    @ Vijay
    HOLD? ain’t thats too rude =P
    Get an ICICI account.. u will get one soon!
    haha thats superb
    PS: not my ideas.. borrowed ones

  8. dinsan Avatar


    I loved 8 and 10

  9. Amit Avatar

    “Helen one” is the best. 😆
    There is one more – The moment you hear a “hello sir”, start shouting – “This is Amitabh Bachchan speaking. Welcome to Kaun Banega Crorepati. Ye raha aapka pehla sawaal, 10000 Rs ke liye. ”
    One of my friend actually did this in front of me and I fell off laughing from my seat. 😆

  10. | Balu | Avatar

    @ Dinsan
    Glad u did! =D

    @ Amit
    Thats insane.. crazy.. 😀 but how do u understand its ‘them’ when you hear Hello?

  11. Xylene Avatar

    let me try one of these. coz the rules are not being followed annyway.

  12. Amit Avatar

    @Balu : Ok…you have wait till “hello sir…I am calling from ICICI bank”…..and then you attack. 🙂

  13. | Balu | Avatar

    @ Xylene
    ya ya pls do!
    @ Amit

  14. Mojo Jojo Avatar

    Ha ha. Good stuff. I’ll do all of these, one by one. Believe me, I get enough calls to try them all – twice 🙂

  15. Nidhi Avatar

    once i start earning, yeah.

  16. Ruhi Avatar

    You won’t believe his, but I receive calls from a call center in Kerala!! And that guy started talking in Malayalam and was selling some phone cards for calling people in India. 😐 And I’m in the US. I should try this the next time he calls up. But I felt so upset being rude to him..poor thing..they remain awake at odd hours for such jobs and don’t even earn much 🙁 and then people like us shout at them. They are just doing their job.

  17. | Balu | Avatar

    @ Mojo
    Besht of luck then
    @ Ruhi
    I have a strange feeling its someone who has read ur blog playing a prank on u! Todays Apr 1 after all!

  18. Ruhi Avatar

    No, this happened a couple of weeks back, not today.

  19. Xylene Avatar

    @Ruhi, Balu.
    I was rude at many ppl when they call me at odd hours. But then when i heard the plight of the friends i know who work at odd hours and shifts to call us I now try not be rude.. But sometimes u just lose it.

  20. Anirudh Avatar

    I tell you what these calls are really irritating…. like some of the ideas u have mentioned above and now I cant wait for some call center people calling me so that I can try out some ideas… great list buddy!!

  21. […] vraiment. Mais, franchement, ça manque d’imagination et de piquant. Heureusement, ce bloggeur propose quelques recettes joliment épicées pour se débarrasser des enquiquineurs professionnels! […]

  22. […] vraiment. Mais, franchement, ça manque d’imagination et de piquant. Heureusement, ce bloggeur propose quelques recettes joliment épicées pour se débarrasser des enquiquineurs professionnels! […]

  23. amooma Avatar

    that was a superb list of ideas to use. will use next time (if i can remeber them in time)

  24. | Balu | Avatar

    [I] if i can remeber them in time [/I]
    yes thats important (VV important) I got a couple of calls yest (from who else -ICICI) but forgot these steps then!

  25. Reema Avatar

    //I was feeling so lonely in life after my GF met me// met or left???

    I liked 7th and 9th the best..cant wait to try them 😀

  26. Sandeep Sinha Avatar

    hehehe !!!!
    nice ideas to stop those calls …
    nice page …
    keep the good work

  27. | Balu | Avatar

    Thanks or dropping by! 😀

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