Grand Theft Auto(rickshaw)

Since I came to Bangalore eight months back, I have read a zillion posts on terrible experiences people had with autorickshaws and traffic. But my post WILL BE DIFFERENT.


For the past one month I have been doing a research and I have classified auto drivers into ten different categories (liable to increase in number) based on the way they behave with the ‘customers’.

1> Don the autodriver
Me: Boss, Jayanagar jaoge?
Auto: Yes, 60
Me: Meter
Auto: 60
Me: Meter
Auto: (silence.. take a drag from his beedi.)
(For a second I thought I was in a Rajanikanth movie so I move off before he starts maroing dialogues)

Conclusions: Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin namumkin hai!

2> ‘Busy’ autodriver
Me: Boss, Jayanagar jaoge?
Auto: (silence.. stares at nothingness… )
Me: (in mind) is he meditating? Hmmm na… better bring him back to mortal world in case he is..
BOSS.. HELLO.. JAYANAGAR.. GO.. YES OR NO!!! (screaming!)
Auto: (Turns his head in slow motion) nahi busy he

Conclusion: Whom are you kiddin!

3> Jack the ripper
NOTE: These type of auto drivers make their entry only at night time or when you want to reach a place ASAP.
Me: Boss, Jayanagar jaoge?
Auto: Ha zaroor, 250.. get in
Me: (stunned!… I keep quite when stunned you see.. now the ball is in auto driver’s court)
Auto: Acha ok double meter plus 10
Me: (looking around…. Damn no auto in site.. ah! And no balance in phone to call taxi!!!)


(sob) (sob)

Auto: GRIN (1, 2, 3, 4 ……… 32)

Me: Razzot Fazzzot

Conclusion: Its high time I thought of a career shift! … I could be the next Jack the Ripper

Continued here………

15 responses to “Grand Theft Auto(rickshaw)”

  1. Nikhil Narayanan Avatar

    Me gonna buy at Auto soon…its a better way to get rich!

  2. | Balu | Avatar

    lol.. wait till read abt the next category of autodrivers!

  3. Xylene Avatar

    well there are two things that will survive if there is a nuclear holocaust.

    Cockroaches and Auto drivers !

  4. | Balu | Avatar

    make it three.. the third one being a mallu!

  5. Xylene Avatar

    haha u are right !

  6. Xylene Avatar

    Did u mean Chup ‘Chap’ when u named this blog or is it just the hindi word Chupchap?

  7. | Balu | Avatar

    both… kinda.. dint think of the ‘chap’ thingy initially.. a friend of mine pointed it out.. neways it goes with my description in about.. section..

  8. […] Tags: autorickshaw, Bangalore, GTA, | Balu | trackback To understand this post properly first read this and then […]

  9. […] Balu | trackback This is the final post of Grand Theft Autorickshaw series.. to make any sens read GTA , GTA2, GTA3 and then read this […]

  10. neel3 Avatar

    a hilarious post !!
    came here via Dinsan’s…

  11. | Balu | Avatar

    Hey Nell,
    Thanks for dropping by! 😀

  12. mouna Avatar

    auto drivers, they’ve turned demanding in the recent past. u can try buses if u’ve time in your hands. they are the safest best.
    funny post! 🙂

  13. | Balu | Avatar

    LOL.. Ya I have traveled by BMTC too.. the only problem is their inconsistency with regard to time and yes, the fact that they go slow when you are in an emergency! 😛

  14. […] Grand Theft Auto(rickshaw) from Balu’s Blog […]

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